Cool victory at a tremendous cost

In a daring move, the makers of Game Of Thrones Season 8 Episode 3 decided to release the Battle of Winterfell as a radio play. Against a black screen, one could hear thrilling sounds of the combat promised in last week’s episode.

However, it becomes clear that this is a normal episode, not a radio play or audio podcast. That it is called The Long Night should have been a clue. By squinting and turning up the television’s brightness to maximum, this recapper is able to pierce the murk to bring you the tale of Fifty Shades Of Black.